What it is
ADHD memory is unreliable in a very specific way: it doesn't forget what to do, it forgets when to remember. The externalised cue is the practice of putting a physical reminder somewhere your body has to encounter. The path between bed and bathroom, the inside of the front door, on top of the kettle, blocking the laptop.
You stop relying on your brain to remember to do the thing. You let your environment carry that job.
When to use it
- You keep meaning to do something and never do
- An alarm went off and you dismissed it without doing the thing
- "I'll remember tomorrow" hasn't worked all week
- You need to do something once, and remembering it is the entire problem
How to do it
- Decide the cue location based on the time you want to remember. Want to do it in the morning? Block the kettle, the front door, or the bathroom sink. At night? On the pillow. Before the gym? In the shoes.
- Make the cue block your path if possible. A note on the kettle that you have to lift off. A bag in front of the door. A pill bottle on the keyboard.
- Use real objects, not just notes. A note can be glanced at and dismissed. An object that blocks something must be moved.
- Remove the cue when the thing is done. Otherwise it becomes part of the visual landscape and stops cueing anything.
An example
I had to bring a particular document to a meeting. I couldn't trust myself to remember in the morning. I put the document on top of my car keys. I had to pick up the document to pick up the keys. I could not have driven to the meeting without first touching the document.
It worked. Has worked every time I've used the trick. Keys are non-negotiable; whatever is on top of them gets remembered.
When this fails
- The cue is visible but not in your path. A sticky note on the fridge will be ignored by week's end. A bag in front of the door will not be ignored.
- You leave old cues up. Visual noise builds. Old, stale, ignored cues teach your brain to ignore all cues. Tidy them up the moment they're done.
- You over-rely on it. Externalised cues are great for specific one-shot or daily things. They don't scale to managing your whole life.
Try it this week
Pick one thing you keep failing to remember. Identify a physical object you definitely encounter at the right time (keys, bed, kettle, shoes, toothbrush). Put the reminder on or under that object. See what happens.